I want to be one of those people who does yoga and eats berries for breakfast, but I’m one of those people who stays in bed until 4 pm and eats pizza.
go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait
"what happens if u have a boner and u unzip ur pants??"
The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.